Things No One Tells You About Being Pregnant

Things No One Tells You About Being Pregnant |

Yesterday was my due date. Guess what? Baby decided the date of her grand entrance will be a surprise. In honor of her lack of punctuality I comprised a huge list of things that no one told me about being pregnant. I had so much to say that I split my list into two parts (that will be in two separate posts).

Sarcastic as I may be, these are the things that I have learned along the glorious path of pregnancy. Arm yourselves with knowledge, my lady friends. 

T H I N G S   N O   O N E   T E L L S   Y O U   A B O U T   B E I N G   P R E G N A N T   (PART 1): 

1.) "Are you EXCITED?!?" is the most asked-and dumbest question of your life--Seriously people? It's like asking the everyday question, "how are you?" and replying, "Awful, my life is a literal explosion of sadness and pain." What do people THINK you are going to reply when they ask you this??? Of course you are excited! Granted, you might occasionally feel scared or overwhelmed but that is totally normal when you're expecting. 

2.) People judge your coffee choices--Your Starbucks experience will never be the same. God forbid you utter "decaf" as the last word of your order and not as the first word. I swear up until you say that magical word your barista (and everyone who overhears you in line) will look at you as if you just slaughtered a baby seal. 

(pink shirt=you. Everyone else=barista & people in line)


3.) Morning sickness isn't just for the morning--The name is a lie. A dirty, dirty lie. "Morning" sickness can hit you like a ton of bricks any time of the day or night--and all the crackers in the world won't heal you. Also, the myth that morning sickness is restricted to the lovely art of vomiting is not true. It can range from slight nausea to a feeling of constant car-sickness to a bad, bad hangover. 

4.) You question the existence of your baby--until one day you wake up--and you're Free Willy--For the first few months your belly either wont change at all or you will just look bloated. Then one day you wake up and it's just there. 

5.) You'll make unspeakable noises you never knew could come out of you--Between the farts and the burps, I don't know what's worse. Your husband/significant other will never look at you as the same, polite and sexy woman you once were. Obviously the baby did it. Yeah...let's go with that one.

6.) You will suddenly have a million pillow children-- You will find yourself buried alive by thousands of fluffy friends. You will start off with one under your stomach and then you will slowly amass your minions like your life depends on it. Your sleep depends on it really but when you're preggo, sleep=life.

7.) Your cravings are CRAY--My own cravings started out innocently enough. First I wanted grapefruit--then peaches and mangoes--and then all of a sudden I was salivating at every carton of icecream in the frozen aisle. And it's not just like, "oh, I want that today"--it's more like "I NEED YOU OR I WILL LITERALLY DIE ON THE SPOT I AM STANDING." Congratulations, you are now the strangest type of drug addict there is. 

8.) You find your IQ has dropped substantially-- It starts out as forgetting your cell phone or your best friends' birthday. Then your friend has to walk you through starting a car step by step (true story). You will probably question your sanity and smarts on a daily basis...wait...what am I talking about again?

9.) Your unborn child has a bigger wardrobe than you do--People will rain down gifts upon you. Lots of them. One of these main gifts will probably be clothes. Clothes that you will envy and want to try on...your big toe. Meanwhile, you're just getting bigger by the minute and you slowly start to realize that none of your own clothes fit you. That crop top you wore a few months ago now looks like a loin cloth.  

10.) Every pregnant woman is not-so-secretly judging you-- I don't know what it is but pregnant women are secretly like mini Simon Cowells--but with more waddling and less British accent. Whenever I meet a fellow pregnant woman we always ask each other, "how far along are you?" If you are anywhere remotely close in months then you will no doubt compare eachothers' belly sizes, symptoms and overall awesomeness as a creator of life. God-forbid you have had less morning sickness or are skinnier in any way and you can feel her laser dart eyes searing your soul. 

11.) You find that other women take sick pleasure in horrifying you-- You will hear stories. Horrifying stories that will forever change you as a pregnant lady. From epidurals paralyzing you to ripping lady parts--you will walk away scarred from some of the things women (and the internet) will tell you. 

12.) Your gyno is unmoved by any question, emotion or pain you experience--Don't get me wrong. Your gyno is there to help you and answer your questions throughout your pregnancy. But sometimes those answers are way more straight forward than you meant for them to be. You will wonder how she doesn't even flinch from investigating the depths of hoo-ha's all day, analyzing urine and taking out her go-go gatchet papsmear!

13.) Your hormones stampede like the wildabeasts of Africa--You'll find that your baby has the power of mind control. One minute you can be crying over the smallest thing and the next your laughing maniacally at the cereal you just poured. Being bi-polar is your new reality. 

(Simba= your husband. Wildabeasts=your hormones)


14.) You've gone from person to vessel-- People will ask you more about the baby then about yourself. You are now the carrier of a glorious nugget of joy and that is your sole mission in life. 

15.) Nothing is TMI anymore--You become so comfortable with your newly acquired bodily functions that nothing phases you anymore. You find yourself talking openly about things that just shouldn't be shared with the general public. You're perfectly ok with it but your friends are traumatized after conversations with you. 

16.) People literally believe you are crippled--and you believe it too at the end-- If you mention that you actually did something that day remotely physically active people act like you have just walked on water. You'll find people wanting to help you with groceries and congratulating you for walking across the house or doing the dishes. You think this is ridiculous until you are close to the end of your pregnancy. Then you just wish you had a team of elves to help you with every day projects. 


17.) Your due date is just a guesstimate-- Since yesterday was my due date I can say this with confidence. Don't get all worked up about the due date your doctor gives you. The baby comes when baby wants. You can walk one thousand miles with Vanessa Carlton all you want--that baby ain't coming.

18.) If you live somewhere hot, you may never buy any stretchy pants or preggo leggings--Coming from experience, I did not buy a single pair of these. I lived in maxi dresses to get all the ventilation humanly possible. Why you ask? I live in Florida. The sweaty armpit of Satan. 

19.) You look at puppies with a new perspective-- Before I was pregnant, I wanted a puppy but never got one because of the responsibilities involved. Now I look at puppies and laugh. Babies are like tetris level 2000 compared to a puppy. (I still want a puppy though).

20.) Some of the baby things you buy have horrifying names and descriptions--Just look at the description and usage for nipple cream. Enough said.



What things did you learn during your pregnancy?



The Pregnancy Tag

I reconnected with an old high school friend recently and when his sweet photographer girlfriend, Katie Hurst found out I was preggo, she called me up and arranged a maternity photo shoot! The thought of a maternity shoot honestly had never even crossed my mind so I was so excited! We went over to a cute local park and shopping center and had a great time snapping photos and talking all things baby.
With all the great photos, I thought it would be great timing to do the pregnancy tag I see cropping up from time to time on all the mommy blogs.
How far along? 7 months
Gender? A little girl!Have a name? Kathleen Elizabeth Mitchell

Maternity clothes? actually! I still can't bring myself to actually take the plunge and admit I'm fat and need some stretchy pants in my life. I never realized how expensive some maternity brands can be and I would only wear them for 2 more months anyways. So far, I've been compensating my growing belly by buying a size or two bigger in regular people clothes! I currently love maxi dresses because they are so comfortable and airy.
Stretch marks? Not yet but I feel they might be coming to get me sometime soon!
Sleep? I've slowly but surely turned into a grandma. By 9 every night I'm usually ready to drift off into lala land. Might as well get my sleep now while I can!
Best moment this week? My baby shower! It was so wonderful to have so many friends and family together. Opening the presents and seeing the cute tiny clothing made having a baby that much more real.
Miss anything? SUSHI COME BACK TO ME. Also margaritas...I miss you too my dear friend.
Movement? A lot of it! I think the female reincarnation of Jackie Chan is living inside of me...she kicks me like a ninja on a mission every morning and every night with some little nudges throughout the day.
Food cravings? Although I felt pretty sick during my first trimester, I always craved grapefruit. In my second it moved on to peaches and mangos and now I just want all the chocolate and icecream in the world. Haha I know...that escalated quickly.
Symptoms? I have a love affair with food!
Belly button in or out? It's still in so far but I can see it slowly beginning to creep outwards to say hello!
Happy or moody most of the time? First trimester was just not fun so I was pretty moody but now I am mostly happy and I already can't wait to pop her out!
Looking forward to? The day of the birth, all of her "firsts", eating the foods I couldn't before, a glass (or two!) of wine, re-living my childhood, and meeting my soon-to-be new best friend. :)

Pregnant at 22: How Expecting Changed My Life

Pregnant at 22: How Expecting Changed My Life |


I have struggled over how to write this--or whether to write this at all, for quite some time now. 
Expressing oneself almost always comes with a natural, deep sense of vulnerability. What will people think of me? What the hell am I going to do? We are taught by life's tribulations at a young age to guard our hearts and the weaknesses that others might exploit. We are taught to succeed in a competitive world and to strive to be admired by those around us.
I have wanted to tell this story because I hope that in some way, sharing this will help those who have experienced the same situation or who are currently struggling with a similar one now. Most of all, I want to be honest and share the journey I am on. A journey that I now wholeheartedly embrace. It is truly amazing and beautiful how one's perspective can change in only a few short months.
I will always remember that day I stood in the bathroom with trembling hands and hot tears burning down my cheeks. The feeling of two cold hands gripping my stomach and wrenching it into my throat. I was staring at my entire future written on a digital stick. I was staring at a reading of "pregnant". 
The cliche saying, "your whole life can change in an instant" was never more true on that day. I felt my  whole future--my whole being--violently rip out from underneath my feet. I could feel myself kissing my 4 years of hard work in college goodbye. All those essays, projects and exams for naught. The 5 internships I had under my belt and hours of resume building and job searching might as well be considered insignificant putty in my hands.  

Now I had to put my life on hold. I would not start an exciting new career. I would learn to change diapers, stay up long nights through crying and sickness, and somehow figure out how to raise a child and teach him or her the right lessons even though I was still learning life lessons of my own.

At the time, I felt I had become the very thing I so desperately tried to avoid. A failure
I had been so happy only a few months before--my college sweetheart had proposed to me and we were planning out the exciting details of our life together. We were ready to frolick off into the sunset together and lead a life fit for a Disney movie.
Despite all the excitement around our upcoming wedding, I had already grown accustomed to feeling somewhat alienated from my peer group. The viral article "23 Things to Do Instead of Getting Engaged at 23" sums up a large portion of my generation's attitude towards early marriage. Adding a baby to that equation was just another "no-no" and would serve only to distance me further. While I was trying to figure out how I would tackle graduation, moving, getting married, somehow securing a job and raising a child, I watched my friends either land incredible jobs with giants like Coca Cola or desperately attempt feigning sobriety in their 8 am class.
 I was extremely fortunate to have the wonderful support of both my fiancé, my family and my fiancé's (now husband's) family. They never once doubted our abilities to blossom into strong, loving parents and filled our hearts with words and actions that were truly positive and uplifting. It gave me a new appreciation and respect for the many young mothers in this world who despite adversity and little to no support--still become amazing mothers. After all, I was fortunate to have a fiancé whose affection and unconditional love was a towering strength. 
Although we found great solace in our families, there were still trials and tribulations to overcome. When I slowly struck up the courage to tell my friends the news of the pregnancy, it was with little realization of how it would so drastically affect those relationships. 
Some people acted as if I was reading the obituary section of the newspaper or relaying news of my death sentence. I watched as pity flooded the faces of some and shock and disgust entered the faces of others. My heart sank as one person told me, "but you're so young, you're not ready for a kid...just get an abortion." Yet another admitted to me, "well we aren't going to invite you out can't drink." Others sat there dumbfounded, would tell me all the things I could have done differently, or would exclaim that they hoped they wouldn't get pregnant like me.
Looking back, I wish I had not let those negative comments impact me and had instead let the positive ones shine through. I was again blessed to have many other friends who were not only happy for me, but absolutely thrilled. I had some friends screaming and jumping up and down, some sending me flowers and lovely heartfelt notes, and others jokingly threaten to abduct the "nugget" as they fondly began to call the baby growing inside me. They really don't know how much their enthusiasm and support touched me to the core--how their love kept me afloat. 
I wish I could reach out to all the young mothers who are or who have felt the roller-coaster of emotions that comes with discovering you are pregnant at a young age. It is truly a tragedy that so many women feel they must flee their high schools and universities for fear of the gossip, rumors and shame their growing bellies might inflict upon them. 
I had everything in the world to be happy about yet I still let the comments, expectations and actions of others define me and depress me. I placed too much weight on what people thought. I stressed out about how they would perceive my wedding and birth of the baby being so close to one another. I surrendered the joy of the happiest moment in my life. 
It's hard to believe how different I feel today. I'm not the same girl that stood petrified in the bathroom that day. It took a journey to arrive at where I am only a few months later, but the insight and confidence I have gained are irreplaceable. We are expecting a beautiful baby girl in the fall and I can honestly say now that I couldn't be more grateful. She is the reflection of the love of my husband and I.What greater love is there than that of a child?